Sound:

Children Safety
by Sally Abrahms

When Eli Newberger turned 16 and got his license, his father warned him about the dangers of driving His advice backfired, however. All through my adolescence, my father referred to the car as 'an instrument of death.' It became a ludicrous mantra that made no sense at all," says the pediatrician, national expert on children's injuries, and author of The Men They Will Become: The Nature and Nurture of the Male Character (Perseus Books, 1999). "My father diminished his standing with such overstatements. The route Newberger's father took was overkill, yet statistics indicate a need to address accidents. According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, nearly 70,000 people die every year from unintentional injuries. Car crashes are the leading cause of mortality in this country', with drowning the second. Other types of unintentional injuries include fires, falls, poisonings, and guns.

Accidental childhood injuries have increased over the years. In the 1920s, just one out of 10 children died from an unintentional injury. By 1988, injuries became the number one cause of death for youngsters age one and older, and the fourth killer for children under one year of age.

SAFE KIDS, a national organization with a campaign focused on the prevention of unintentional childhood injuries, conducted two surveys, one in 1987, the other in 1992, to assess parents' perceptions and practices about childhood accidents. Adults listed drugs and violence, such as kidnapping and drive-by shootings, as the chief childhood injuries and rated accidents as third. It's just not so. Most abducted children are nabbed by a noncustodial parent rather than by a stranger, and a person age 14 and younger has a seven times greater chance of dying from an unintentional injury than from a murder, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

While the statistics are frightening, they are a call to action. But how can parents teach their children, whether they are toddlers or teens, about safety without having them tune out from dire predictions or become traumatized from frightening stories? How do they get kids to listen, to take them seriously, and to take precautions? How can parents help them to stay safe?

EDUCATE EARLY

The approach, say the experts, is the same whether the subject is kidnapping, fire, drowning, street crossings, seat belts, or any other safety issue. "You have to begin early to instill discipline. Kids are wired to be good citizens," maintains Newberger. "They want to be obedient, and it's not difficult to lay down the foundations early, around the age of one. Among those is communicating about the risks, but it has to be done positively. I'm a great believer in fostering self-control in children, especially in boys, who tend to take more risks and have more accidents than girls."

To be able to explain potential dangers, mothers and fathers must know whether their expectations are realistic, and this depends upon the age of the child. Take toddlers, for example. "The normal business of being a toddler is exploring the world and getting into things," says Dr. Robert Sege, the director of the Pediatric and Adolescent Health Research Center at the New England Medical Center in Boston and a faculty member at the Harvard School of Public Health Injury Control Research Center. "Parents need to understand that kids are not bad by checking under the sink; they're just being a kid." Sege, in conjunction with the Maternal and Child Health Bureau, a government entity, has developed age-appropriate safety tip brochures that explain expected behavior and ways to safeguard youngsters.

"The best way to talk to kids about safety is directly," advises Sege. "When they're around the ages of two or three, they need to have simple rules like, 'Don't climb on that. It's not safe. It's for older kids.' Redirect the child when he's young and say, 'This is for you."' Sege suggests then showing the child something he can climb on or play with.

Toddlers are concrete thinkers with fantastic imaginations fueled by TV cartoon characters who get flattened by buses, trucks, and trains and then, injury-free, stand up and rejoin the group. "If these characters don’t die when they are run over, I won’t either," a preschool child may reason through a psychological term called "magical thinking." The best approach with this age group is to repeat short stories about safety, engage them in coloring activities and puppet shows that discuss injury issues, teach them songs with meaningful messages, and role play and rehearse potential problem scenarios. A spate of new safety books, CDs, and tapes on the market designed for preschool and early school-age children can also be helpful.

Young children are masterful at asking questions -lots of them, over and over and over again. Professionals suggest parlaying these questions, which often provide insight into children's anxieties, fears, and concerns, into conversations about safety. In The Safe Child Book: A Corn monsense Approach to Protecting Children and Teaching Children to Protect Themselves (Fireside Books), Dr. Sherryll Kraizer suggests playing the "What if" game to teach personal safety skills.

It works like this: Let's say your child sees from the local news on TV that a young boy has drowned in the family pool and you also have a pool. He says, "What if I'm in the pool and you're in the house, and I get a cramp and can't swim to the other side in time?" It's a great time to reinforce water rules: "You know you're never, ever allowed to swim in the pool when there is no adult or trained supervisor around. That means an older person who knows how to swim will be watching you the whole time." Fither you or your child can ask the "What if" question so it becomes a fun family game and gives you a chance to address any timely issue in a nonthreatening way.

"When children ask, 'What if' questions, you should resist the urge to answer and let your children answer the 'What if' question first," says Kraizer in her safety book. "You will discover how they think, what their concerns are, how they solve problems, how they think the world works, and what they know and' don't know about keeping themselves safe." You might want to say, "What do you think" or "You have good ideas. What would you do?" Kraizer, who is the creator of the national Safe Child Program, advises never frighten children when you ask a question, even if it's about getting lost or abducted. By giving them the information they need, you will be empowering them

so they feel more in control.

AN UNLIKELY LIZARD

James Tomaszewski, Sr., founder of the lil' Iguana Children's Safety Foundation based in Nashua, New Hampshire, has developed a set of songs, skits, dance numbers, stories, and other activities that offer this information. With the invention of a diminutive, kelly green iguana, and other upbeat animals who appear in the form of puppets, costumed humans, or TV characters, Tomaszewski's smiley critter is the picture of safety. Lil’ iuana dons a helmet when rollerblading or biking, fastens his seat belt whenever be slithers into a car, and knows how to behave if approached by a stranger. The lizard becomes a role model.

Tomaszewski and his wife Laurie bring his travelin~ teaching show, geared to children 18 months to seven years, to fairs, churches, schools, youth groups, and such places as BJ's, where the lil' iguana performs, hands out coloring books to reinforce his messages and sings his heart out. "The iguana teaches without the kids realizing they are learning," says Tomaszewski. "Educators and therapists agree that a child’s moral foundation and habits are embedded in a child’s mind before age seven. Many programs targeting children after seven years of age are not effective. Lil’ iguana’s approach is that kids are ready to learn about safety and well-being at a very early age."

Before he hit the acting circuit, the celebrity iguana came from humble beginnings. He was initially used by law enforcement officials to teach child abuse prevention in the classroom. Today, local fire, police, and health departments use the lil’ iguana character in their programs.

When the 6’5" Tomaszewski started the foundation in l997, there were just three other adults covering 48 events. Today, there are 40 adults, most of whom are volunteers, and the

group puts on 360 performances annually. Tomaszewski works 80 hours a week on the lil' iguana, but doesn't draw a salary. He supports his family and the foundation from a screen printing and embroidery business he owns.

The question, this time, is not "What if", but "Why"? Originally, Tomaszewski conceived of the character to sell products and make a profit. But shortly after he started, he was reading the newspaper and stumbled upon a gruesome story: A boy from Boston had been kidnapped, sexually abused, and murdered. The grisly details haunted Tomaszewski so deeply that he decided to parlay his budding knowledge about child safety into a foundation that could help potential victims.

"Before I had my children, nothing was important except money and hanging out," says Tomaszewski, the father of Erica, 10; James, Jr., 9; and four-year-old Eden. "Then I began to see what was happening in the world, and now it's getting worse.

Tomaszewski's efforts are paying off. One of lil' iguana's songs is "Run, Yell, and Tell," which deals with abduction and abuse. A child in New England had listened to the lyrics in class just six months before he was molested in a preschool program. The offender had threatened the boy, saying that if he told, he and his parents would be harmed. The youngster confessed to his mother because he reasoned, "Lil' iguana would want me to tell you." Another child who had taken Tomaszewski's safety program was approached by a man claiming he needed directions. The boy told his teacher; the school discovered the man had been casing out the area and was a convicted pedophile. "I try to empower the children so they know how to behave," says Tomaszewski. "The music teaches them what to do when they are approached by a stranger. Then with the lil’ iguana, we go into the classroom and act out skits and use the kids to he part of it. They really remember this way."

Tomaszewski said, "I made this foundation for my children. I wanted to leave something behind for my kids." The lil' iguana character will soon he on paper goods, night-lights, backpacks, sunglasses, and home furnishings. The nonprofit group has recently released an audiocassette of children's songs and a CD-ROM game called "Storymaker." Kids watch stories relating to safety issues and create their own cartoon.

The foundation has also made safety tapes and a successful Saturday morning TV program, which won four Emmy Award nominations, as well as other national and international media awards. The TV show has been sold for sydication in Singapore and Mexico. Tomaszewski hopes to take his program nationwide by airing it on small TV stations through a grass-roots approach.

He appears to be on his way. "It's something I never ever envisioned," he says. "I get calls from Texas, Chicago, Florida, and California asking if they can use my curriculum. I say, 'We're writing it.' Then they say, 'At least send me some of your music!" For more information on Tomaszewski's organization, log onto www.lil-iguana.com or call .

BE THERE!

No matter how engaging and helpful the information, or how much your child seems to understand, parents can become overconfident. "Giving children information is not a complete substitute for supervising them," warns Anara Guard, associate project director for the Children's Safety Network. "These are children after all. They forget their lunch, and to do their chores, so it's not surprising that they forget advice we give them about safety. Research shows that parents tend to overevaluate what a child is capable of doing.

We think that because they've been able to cross the street successfully a few times with us that they can still maintain that behavior consistently when they're with friends or themselves."

PLAY IT SAFE

Parents can prevent some accidents. One way is by making the environment safer. Sure, you can lecture your child about not playing with matches or how to exit the house in the event of a fire, but it's equally important to keep matches and lighters away from them, and to have working smoke detectors.

The same goes for swimming and streets. "Children can't always resist temptation," claims Guard. "A toy in a swimming pool or a friend on the other side of the street is so tempting. Parents can make it dificult for children to reach those things and help them to control their impulses."

Being vigilant and in the know should make a difference - for your child, it could he the difference between getting in trouble or staying safe.

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